Alabama Should Suspend the Gas Tax — But Won’t

Georgia’s Governor Brian Kemp recently signed a bill suspending their State gas tax for 60 days. He and the Georgia legislature did this to ease the pain at the pump our latest little (mis)adventure in the Middle East is causing to ordinary Georgians.

A couple of days later, Democratic gubernatorial hopeful Doug Jones suggested that Alabama follow suit — thus killing any chance that our Glorious Leaders on Goat Hill and the Great Republican Supermajority would ever do such a thing. Because, as we all know, if a Democrat suggests it, it’s BAD, right? Right?

That is, after all, why we’re about to close our primaries, isn’t it? To keep those Evil Democrats(™) from sullying the purity of essence of our Republican primaries?

Well, that; and to keep the Speaker's metaphorical head off a pike, and his name on the ballot. I’ve seen the petition (if you know, you know), and I believe them when they say they have the 75 signatures they need…but that’s another issue altogether.

At any rate, I mentioned doing the same thing Georgia has just done at some of the (too many) Republican meetings I go to, and I was shocked at how little support there was for the idea among our “good conservatives.”

“It’s just a gimmick,” I was told. “It won’t all make it to the pump,” others said. Finally, “but what about the revenue?” seemed to be the main concern.

There it is.

“The revenue.”

God forbid we should do anything to decrease the revenue flowing into Montgomery, even temporarily!

Remember, these were “conservative Republicans” I was talking to — not those Evil Democrats(™) with their Tax-And-Spend(™) policies. Every single one pushed back against the idea of a 60 day break from the 30 cents on every gallon that Alabama soaks from us each time we tank up.

I guess my age is showing, but I remember when “conservative” wasn’t just about being a social conservative. It used to be about fiscal conservatism, too. You know, less taxes. Less spending. Fewer regulations. More freedom. Less government overall.

There’s an old Soviet-era joke: Nikita Khrushchev was showing his mother around the Kremlin. He showed her his office. Then, he loaded her into his limo and had his driver take them to his dacha outside Moscow, and showed her around. On their way back, after a sumptuous meal cooked by his personal chef, Momma K turned to him and asked, “but Nicky…what will you do when the communists come back?”

What indeed? And what will Alabama do if the conservatives come back?

Because I haven’t seen a lot of fiscal conservatism from this crop of Glorious Leaders. Oh, they’ve got the social conservatism down pat — no argument there. But fiscal conservatism? Not so much.

Both budgets have passed their originating Houses, and when they pass in the next few days, we’ll hear our Glorious Leaders trumpeting about how they’re so great, so awesome…and just how much they’ve grown! I’ve already heard boasts about how the Education Budget was increased “by as much as the law allows!” — like that was just the bestest thing ever. The General Fund is also on track for a substantial boost, and we’ll also hear how wonderful that is.

Meanwhile, out here in Real Alabama, it’s getting harder and harder to tighten our belts. A lot of people have already started punching more holes in theirs, making hard choices between the power bill, buying gas, paying mandated car insurance, getting their medicine and, God forbid, eating something other than beans, rice and hot dogs.

Unless you’re on SNAP, of course — then it’s Doritos, Coke, Monsters and diabetes FTW! But, that’s another issue.

When the budgets pass, we’ll also hear the obligatory platitudes of “we’re being such good stewards of the taxpayer’s money,” and “we worked so hard to keep the spending down.” You know what they'll say. It’s the same broken record every year — but for some reason, the budgets never go down, just up. There's always a fight over anything that cuts taxes on regular Alabamians (tax on groceries, anyone?) or tightens the State belt in any real, meaningful way. We’re thrown a few scraps from time to time — the grocery tax, for one — and expected to thank our Glorious Leaders for that, as they’re moving into their shiny, brand new State House.

How much did the new State House cost, by the way?

Anyway, don’t expect Alabama to suspend our gas tax. It won’t happen — not because “there’s just not enough time left in the session,“ which we all know is a total lie. If one of the Big Mules wanted it, it’d be done. *cough* SB360 *cough*

No, the REAL reason we won’t see a suspension in the gas tax is what would happen when the suspension wore off…and suddenly gas prices shot up overnight by 30 cents a gallon. Right before the runoff election in June. And close enough to the general election in November that people would remember.

There’s already a lot of anger and frustration out there, especially in and with the Alabama Republican Party. That kind of fiscal slap to the face wouldn’t endear votes to ALGOP or the Great Republican Supermajority — especially since it would remind them of how the Great Gas Tax of 2022 was shoved through in the first place. And that…

Would not make the world safe for re-election.

And there you have it: the REAL reason Alabama won’t suspend the gas tax, no matter how high prices get at the pump. It’s not the suspension itself.

It’s when the tax comes back that our Glorious Leaders fear.

Dr. Bill Chitwood is the Managing Editor of ALPolitics.com. He is the author, under his nom de guerre Doc Contrarian, of Beyond MAGA: From Trump campaign slogan to political movement to restoring the Republic. He identifies as Conservatarian Contrarian and a staunch Constitutional Originalist. He enjoys being called a First Amendment Nazi — mainly because he is.

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