Don’t Do It, Coach Pearl!

There’s a rumor going around that Auburn Men’s Basketball Coach Bruce Pearl is contemplating a run for the U.S. Senate.

Don’t do it, Coach.

I know you’re hearing all kinds of honeyed words poured into your ear right now. People are telling you what a great opportunity it would be, how fantastic it would be to be a U.S. Senator, and how you could have a chance to move in the halls of power.

Guess what? It ain’t all that.

Coach Tuberville found that out the hard way. His One and Done Senate tenure is proof of that. Not that I blame Coach Tuberville at all. He went into the Senate right before Dementia Joe was installed, and we all know how that went. Mainly, I think he found out, to his extreme displeasure, that the way the Senate seniority system is set up, he’d still be sitting on the back bench for another 10 or 15 years.

I know I couldn’t stand year after year of having to listen to Glitch Mitch McConnell (who is rapidly approaching Diane Feinstein levels of decrepitude) or McConnell’s creature John Thune dictate my Party’s course. The very thought makes me ill. The Senate is the world’s most exclusive geriatric care facility, with precious few exceptions—do you really want to be a part of that?

It’s a crooked, thoroughly dysfunctional system within an even more wicked, corrupt, compromised, and wretchedly dysfunctional system—The Swamp. But, it’s the system that exists now, and it’s not likely to change in the foreseeable future.

No, Coach Pearl; you’re exactly where you need to be. You’re doing exactly what you need to be doing. You need to stay at Auburn, so that next year you can win the NCAA tournament. And, hopefully a few more after that. #WarEagle!

So, no, Coach Pearl. Don’t listen to those vipers whispering about a Senate run.

You’ve got a good thing going, and you’re beloved right where you are.

Don’t screw it up with politics.

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