Forget Tuberville for Governor—Coach for Auburn AD!

I supported Tommy Tuberville for Senate. In as much as I can, as the Editor of this site, I’ve supported him for Governor.

No more.

As far as I’m concerned, there’s only ONE job in this State that I want Tommy Tuberville to hold:

Auburn Athletic Director

It’s not that I think Coach did a bad job in the Senate—far from it. If the seniority system in the world’s most exclusive geriatric care facility wasn’t as screwy as it is, I suspect he’d still want to be there.

Quite frankly, if I’d had to sit there and listen to Glitch Mitch McConnell call the shots for years, I’d have come completely unglued.

Not that I’m not partially unglued already (I hear you people snickering, don’t think that I don’t), but still…

It’s not that I think Coach will do a bad job as Governor. I don’t. Old Fart that I am, I’ve seen this State under good and bad Governors—and we’re still here. We have a veritable plethora of people who like to think they could be Governor, some of whom may actually be correct.

Right now, the only job I want Tommy Tuberville to have is Athletic Director of my Alma mater, Auburn University.

This morning, Hugh Freeze was given his walking papers, with DJ Durkin being tapped to step up as interim Head Coach. Who will replace Freeze long-term? I have no idea, but I do know this:

Current AD John Cohen has to go, too.

Cohen hired Freeze—need I say more? Since last night’s complete debacle against Kentucky—KENTUCKY!!!—#FireCohen has been trending right alongside #FireHugh and #FireFreeze. Social media trends alone shouldn’t determine personnel decisions, but they can certainly tell you where the zeitgeist is heading.

Hugh Freeze has already been shown the door. Buh bye. Now it’s time for the guy who hired Freeze to follow him…leaving the AD chair open.

Coach, that chair needs to be yours.

Forget being Governor. Yes, the job has its perks: nice house, good parking at the Capital, car service, stuff like that. On the downside, you have to deal with Alabama politicians, the denizens of Goat Hill, ‘The Pinheads from Montgomery’ bureaucrats and the Big Mules.

As Auburn AD, you’d have a tough job—the football program is a raging dumpster fire despite oodles of money and great facilities. Men’s basketball will be going through a rebuilding year with Lil’ Pearl, but that’s okay—we understand that. As far as I know, the rest of Auburn athletics is in reasonably good shape—shout out to them!

Let me steal a line here: it’s the football team, stupid.

Baseball is great, gymnastics and the equestrian team are consistently awesome—but they don’t put nearly 90,000 butts in seats (and keep them there for four quarters—KENTUCKY!!!) like football does.

People will want to believe Tommy Tuberville can fix what ails the Auburn football program—whether or not it’s actually true. That belief, in and of itself, will go a long way towards restoring faith in the students, fans, alumni, and the boosters who will be writing the checks to pay off Freeze and lure in his replacement.

So, Coach: do the right thing. Forget being Governor—it’s likely you’ll find out that, as in the Senate, the job ain’t nearly as much fun as you thought it’d be.

Become Auburn’s new AD.

It is your destiny!

Bill Chitwood, MD; AU ‘85

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